Dating profiles: DO's and DONT's

Written in the perspective of a contemporary, good-girl, Gen-Z, heterosexual cis-female.

The matchmaking industry has evolved over the years - and although that's a different story I could write an entire paper about (which I have), I will mainly focus on online dating and the familiar apps we all know about today. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble to name a few - even Facebook had caught onto the matchmaking trend and birthed Facebook Dating!

On my darkest and loneliest hours, I'd catch myself in a metaphysical state; an out-of-body experience; a machine on auto-pilot with sleepless eyes and a numb heart, swiping away at these beautiful men on these dating apps - albeit most are swipe-lefts. Until one day, I find that one profile ever so simple yet so unique, with an equally complementing face and caption that just had to make my heart jitter. A swipe right - it's a match! After going through all my hundreds of matches and finding the things they had in common... - that's it! Eureka! I've cracked the formula.

so simple yet so unique

Don't: Hide your face in the main photo

The first thing that came to my mind when I see a guy wearing sunglasses in most of his photos or large masks that cover the entirety of his face is - what's he hiding? Is he insecure? I get it, maybe it looks cool, maybe you want to give off that mysterious boy vibe and want to pique girls curiosity - and there's nothing wrong with that granted the girl puts thought into it which most don't.

Your face is - if not the greatest, then one of the greatest assets on a dating profile especially as the main photo. Smile cheek to cheek, smolder, flex your jawline - do whatever it takes but show those features of yours! Save those vibey photos for later on in the profile, not as the main photo!

Do: Have a visible face

Don't: Leave the caption/bio blank/undermine yourself

A lot of profiles I come across will not have a bio or caption, and that leaves me thinking "either this guy is too cocky about his looks that he thinks he doesn't need substance, or he's not serious about this thing". Either way doesn't fit right with me.

If I'm just looking for a pretty face for a one-night stand, then maybe an empty bio wouldn't bother me so much, but if I were to desire something beyond that then I expect more than a blank. A man who isn't serious about this may not take me seriously, and I need none of that! You may argue - "that's putting in too much effort and it makes me look desperate". No! Being desperate means swiping right on every girl you see with no standards. Putting in effort is different because it's commendable! Quite frankly, every girl craves a certain degree of simping anyway.

The next point I want to make is how unappealing bios with

"not sure what to write here"

"not good at this..."

"if you want to know then ask"

All these, to me, are translated to "I'm not good at communicating. I have nothing special about me to tell and have to rely on you to lead the conversation." Yes, being humble will please the moms and dads, but confidence is what attracts the daughters and sons!

Do: Fill in the bio

Don't: Go with the flow, anyone will do

You are the product, and your profile is the marketing ad. A product that caters to everyone's needs, like toilet paper, is often cheap, and meant for s***. Be niche, be valuable, don't be something that everyone can get their hands on - be Gucci about it! Know the kind of people you are looking for and cater your profile to attract them! If you want a city girl that can drink and rave, you wouldn't put photos of you holding a giant fish you caught in a faraway land and write "outdoorsy, nature-loving, peaceful quiet life etc."

Whenever I see the phrase "go with the flow", I picture a lost person who doesn't know what he wants in life or where he's heading - someone who can't take charge of the boat and is helpless. Guess what's more attractive than someone with a pretty face? Someone with a pretty face that knows what they want. I'm looking for a partner, not a project!

Do: Be specific about what you want

Don't: have vulgar photos or with other females

Before I start on this, I might say, depending on the types of girls you want to attract, vulgar photos may be okay. Just like there are trashy guys out there, there are trashy girls too! However, to an average person, seeing photos with smoke, weapons, or a stash of money just seems pretentious. Smoking is bad, period. I'm not sure who views it attractive other than teenagers who do it as an act of rebel and grown-ups that couldn't quit because of bad adolescent choices.

In terms of having photos with other females, I know you must be thinking "it shows that I'm good with women" but honestly, females are often (not always) too territorial to care. This may stem from some insecurity (no matter how minor, everybody's got some!) but if I'm seeking a potential serious partner, I'm not sure I want someone who's "very good with women" and always surrounded by them.

Do: have friendly photos where you are the center

Be niche, be valuable - be GUCCI about it!

Don't: Have the photos without you in it

Profiles where I have no idea what the person looks like will guarantee a swipe left. Bios with photos of things you've made, or pets you have - but without you in it, takes away the credibility . If you've done something you're proud of - pose next to it! If you have a cute pet you want to show-off, cuddle it in the photo! Remember, every single pixel on that profile should be dedicated to you, so every image without you in it is a waste of marketable space!

Do: Share photos of animals/achievements/projects with you in it

Don't: Have lengthy bios or written with bad grammar

I should probably take my own advice writing this article. People's attention span are short! Quick, impactful sentences to hook them in and that's it! Talk about yourself, but not tell your whole life story. Don't tell them what you like, tell them what you can offer! Use. Single. Words. To emphasize what you really want them to remember, but don't list a bunch of single words because it neutralizes the emphasis and people end up forgetting everything!

We also don't like a wall of text, so start a new line after a sentence or two. Break it up with a few emojis to add some colors. Use those emoji check-marks and crosses to talk about yourself or what you seek. Double check your grammar - have the appearance of an intellectual!

Do: Break the bio into smaller sections

Don't: be rude/complain

Mutually dissing something could appeal to someone's agreeable side, but it's still negative energy! Your profile should be an all-positive experience for everyone. Similar to how you shouldn't undermine yourself or have vulgarity, just don't be a whiny little b*tch!

Nothing's better than the ability to make a girl laugh. Countless times I've swiped right on a guy who isn't as attractive but he made a silly joke or said something out of the ordinary and it made me chuckle. Use a pick-up line. Throw in your best worst joke. I once matched with someone who had a math equation and my desire to conquer made me stay on his profile for a whole 5 minutes. Then -- I messaged him to check my answer.

Do: Be funny

Do: Flex

If you got it, flaunt it. But don't overdo it.

Don't: Brag